im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
