We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
