You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
