Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
