Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
