? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
