Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
