if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
