Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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