they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
