She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
