soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
try to milk me bitch
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
