she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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