oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
