Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Where is the hickey?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
