Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
