If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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