If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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