tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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