I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
