Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
