I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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