and you said cock pushups were impossible
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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