don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
