The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
