you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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