she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
