As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
