Is it normal to miss your booty call?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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