She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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