it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
