I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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