ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
