..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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