from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
