Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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