fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
