Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
