We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
this is an emotional support booty call
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
