I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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