I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i think we sleep fucked last night...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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