she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
