I think I am morally bankrupt
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
