He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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