I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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