I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
