Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
