Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
