Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
you will always have a special place in my vag
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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