Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
